Appropriately Inappropriate

The Unpopular Opinions of a Post-Modern Prep
Do you know of any former radfems who stopped being radfems?
appropriately-inappropriate appropriately-inappropriate Said:

redhester:

appropriately-inappropriate:

redhester:

radicalmayhem:

draumstafir:

appropriately-inappropriate:

I’m sure they exist, but to be honest with you, it hasn’t really been something I’ve paid much mind to?

I reblog from a lot of sources and bloggers of disparate ideologies, so I don’t necessarily keep track of who’s what and why.

A lot of lesbians and GM/WoC have stopped being radfems because of a lot of racist and lesbophobic shit in the community. But they’re all still radical leaning as far as I know. I can’t think of anyone who went from radical feminism to liberal feminism or anti feminism, if that’s what you’re asking?

I was about to say the same thing. I know quite a few women who have distanced themselves from the radical feminist community, but they all still hold radical beliefs.

i am so glad to see this on my dash so i can respond. a few weeks ago i had to close my blog to only GM people because white women who call themselves radical feminists were not conducting themselves with honor. 

i do not consider any woman who is not actively doing the difficult internal work to dismantle internalized racism/homophobia/etc. to be a radical feminist. 

i am a radical feminist. i know that radical feminism is. and i refuse to be driven out of this movement by those who do not uphold the values of this movement. those who do not act in alignment with their words cannot call themselves radical feminists. 

i am a radical feminist. 

Well, Hester, I’ll take this with a grain of salt since, with all due respect, you unfollowed /me/ for saying that we shouldn’t use bad politics as an excuse to engage in beauty policing, and because I said that saying a woman should have ended up in the reservoir of a condom wasn’t in any way a radical feminist attitude.

As for the other comments, good points! I try to avoid a lot of the intracommunity stuff, so I don’t always know who’s talking to whom.

hello sister appropriately-inappropriate, i do recall the incident you reference. and it involved me standing with a black lesbian who was pointing out a racialized element in one of your posts. so there was more going on than just name-calling. so. the problematic language you reference was a response. it didn’t just come out of nowhere. and perhaps this can be an object of contemplation, as to why the sister became so frustrated with you. i wish you well. as always.

I’m sorry, Hester, but I’ll have to disagree. There was no racialized element to my comment; I agreed with the individual that ScarJo’s politics were unconscionable. What I disagreed with was the either/or dichotomy that the individual was perpetuating. If you remember otherwise, I’m happy to provide the links to jog your memory.

As for the rhetoric used, you’ll excuse me if “she was super angry grrr” isn’t a good reason to say a woman deserves to be in the reservoir of a condom, or dead or anything. I hold people to a higher standard than that, especially women who claim to be radical feminists. And you’ll excuse me if your defence of a black lesbian doesn’t exactly make my heart bleed, since you “sided” with her against a Latina lesbian, not some oppressor.

Lastly, before I put this to bed, please don’t condescend to me, Hester. I have contemplated the issue plenty, and frankly, don’t see how I’m in the wrong for defending a woman. I certainly won’t apologize for doing it, but I don’t appreciate the insinuation.

In any case, we’re getting off topic, and I don’t know that I have much more to say to you. Regardless, I do wish you well. Enjoy the rest of the long weekend.

specsthespectraldragon:

(I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)

Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

Customer: “I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”

Customer: “Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”

(The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)

Me: “We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”

(I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)

Owner: “Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”

Homeless Man: “Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”

Owner: “I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”

Homeless Man: “Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”

(My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)

Homeless Man: *digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”

Owner: *to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”

Homeless Man: “I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”

(Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife—the owner’s sister.)

Children should remain silent, and they are ‘good’ when they’re quiet, but ‘bad’ when they are not, because they are disturbing the adults and causing trouble. This attitude runs through the way people interact with children on every level, and yet, they seem surprised when it turns out that children have been struggling with serious medical problems, or they’ve been assaulted or abused.

The most common response is ‘well why didn’t the child say something?’ or ‘why didn’t the child talk to an adult?’ Adults constantly assure themselves that children know to go to a grownup when they are in trouble, and they even repeat that sentiment to children; you can always come to us, adults tell children, when you need help. Find a trusted adult, a teacher or a doctor or a police officer or a firefighter, and tell that adult what’s going on, and you’ll be helped, and everything will be all right.

The thing is that children do that, and the adults don’t listen. Every time a child tells an adult about something and nothing happens, that child learns that adults are liars, and that they don’t provide the promised help. Children hold up their end of the deal by reporting, sometimes at great personal risk, and they get no concrete action in return. Sometimes, the very adult people tell a child to ‘trust’ is the least reliable person; the teacher is friends with the priest who is molesting a student, the firefighter plays pool with the father who is beating a child, they don’t want to cause a scene.

Or children are accused of lying for attention because they accused the wrong person. They’re told they must be mistaken about what happened, unclear on the specifics, because there’s no way what they’re saying could be true, so and so isn’t that kind of person. A mother would never do that. He’s a respected member of the community! In their haste to close their ears to the child’s voice, adults make sure the child’s experience is utterly denied and debunked. Couldn’t be, can’t be, won’t be. The child knows not to say such things in the future, because no one is listening, because people will actively tell the child to be quiet.

Children are also told that they aren’t experiencing what they’re actually experiencing, or they’re being fussy about nothing. A child reports a pain in her leg after gym class, and she’s told to quit whining. Four months later, everyone is shocked when her metastatic bone cancer becomes unavoidably apparent. Had someone listened to her in the first place when she reported the original bone pain and said it felt different that usual, she would have been evaluated sooner. A child tells a teacher he has trouble seeing the blackboard, and the teacher dismisses it, so the child is never referred for glasses; the child struggles with math until high school, when someone finally acknowledges there’s a problem.

This attitude, that children shouldn’t be believed, puts the burden of proof on children, rather than assuming that there might be something to their statements. Some people seem to think that actually listening to children would result in a generation of hopelessly spoiled brats who know they can say anything for attention, but would that actually be the case? That assumption is rooted in the idea that children are not trustworthy, and cannot be respected. I’m having trouble understanding why adults should be viewed as inherently trustworthy and respectable, especially in light of the way we treat children.

radfemriseup:

*walks into shop*
Stranger: umm excuse me I just want you to know that a TERF works here and if you continue to shop at this store you’re committing an act of violence

(via fillinthe-------)

Do you know of any former radfems who stopped being radfems?
appropriately-inappropriate appropriately-inappropriate Said:

redhester:

radicalmayhem:

draumstafir:

appropriately-inappropriate:

I’m sure they exist, but to be honest with you, it hasn’t really been something I’ve paid much mind to?

I reblog from a lot of sources and bloggers of disparate ideologies, so I don’t necessarily keep track of who’s what and why.

A lot of lesbians and GM/WoC have stopped being radfems because of a lot of racist and lesbophobic shit in the community. But they’re all still radical leaning as far as I know. I can’t think of anyone who went from radical feminism to liberal feminism or anti feminism, if that’s what you’re asking?

I was about to say the same thing. I know quite a few women who have distanced themselves from the radical feminist community, but they all still hold radical beliefs.

i am so glad to see this on my dash so i can respond. a few weeks ago i had to close my blog to only GM people because white women who call themselves radical feminists were not conducting themselves with honor. 

i do not consider any woman who is not actively doing the difficult internal work to dismantle internalized racism/homophobia/etc. to be a radical feminist. 

i am a radical feminist. i know that radical feminism is. and i refuse to be driven out of this movement by those who do not uphold the values of this movement. those who do not act in alignment with their words cannot call themselves radical feminists. 

i am a radical feminist. 

Well, Hester, I’ll take this with a grain of salt since, with all due respect, you unfollowed /me/ for saying that we shouldn’t use bad politics as an excuse to engage in beauty policing, and because I said that saying a woman should have ended up in the reservoir of a condom wasn’t in any way a radical feminist attitude.

As for the other comments, good points! I try to avoid a lot of the intracommunity stuff, so I don’t always know who’s talking to whom.

Do you know of any former radfems who stopped being radfems?
appropriately-inappropriate appropriately-inappropriate Said:

I’m sure they exist, but to be honest with you, it hasn’t really been something I’ve paid much mind to?

I reblog from a lot of sources and bloggers of disparate ideologies, so I don’t necessarily keep track of who’s what and why.

micdotcom:

This is a big win for anti-rape activists, many of whom have been touting the necessity of an “affirmative consent” standard for years. California Gov. Jerry Brown (D) has the next month to sign the bill into law. If he does, schools across the state would be required to define consent before engaging in sexual activity as an “affirmative, conscious, and voluntary agreement” or risk losing state financial aid funding.

(via safomis)

Several studies have shown that portrayals of women enjoying rape and other kinds of sexual violence can lead to increased acceptance of rape myths in both males and females.

One group of college students were shown a pornographic depiction in which a woman was portrayed as sexually aroused by sexual violence, and a second group was exposed to control materials.

Subsequently, all subjects were shown a second rape portrayal.

The students who had been exposed to the pornographic depiction of rape were significantly more likely than the students in the control group:

(1) to perceive the second rape victim as suffering less trauma; (2) to believe that she actually enjoyed it; and (3) to believe that women in general enjoy rape and forced sexual acts.

Neil Malamuth and James Check. “The effects of aggressive pornography on beliefs in rape myths: Individual differences.” Journal of Research in Personality, 19 (1985), pp. 299-320.

University of Minnesota, Research on Pornography

(via exgynocraticgrrl)

WHOA CHECK OUT THIS LINK, TONS OF STUDIES REFERENCED, INCLUDING SEVERAL MASSIVE METASTUDIES.

(via spockdoesntconcur)

(via safomis)

likewhateveriguess:

aliensexmagic:

vulvanity:

aliensexmagic:

Cissexist/centric monosexuals are all equally boring

How can you consciously decide that genitalia is the most important thing when looking for a partner and your sexuality revolves around that y’all are basic af

We don’t CONSCIOUSLY DECIDE. Homosexuality…

All Cissexists r boring, basic, and oppressive, it’s true

I don’t think u understand what ‘homophobia’ even means since u don’t seem to understand what gay/lesbian means, or that not all monosexuals are cissexist or even cis lmao

It’s ~common~ for dishonest transphobes to accuse other queers of homophobia when we point out your, yes oppressive, transphobia but that doesn’t make it any less absurd

Translation: “same-sex attraction is cissexist”.

Gay people are not “obsessed with genitals” as you homophobic shills love to say. We are literally same-sex attracted, and that includes primary (which a trans person cannot replicate) and secondary sexual characteristics.

And yet somehow we’re the ones reducing people to genitals.

I’m attracted to females. I like their scent, their skin, the softness of them. I like the way they see the world and move through it, the little shared smiles at how ridiculous the world can be.

I like the shape of their lips and their smiles and the delicacy of their hands against mine.

And yes, I like the taste and look of their bodies, but that’s not the point of the endeavour.

Regardless, I refuse to take shit on whom I’m attracted to from someone who fucks a child molester.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Hello. I've been a bit upset about something since it happened not too long ago and didn't know if you would be able to offer me an explanation or if it would be considered gossip. But when transcultist was being targeted by other radfems and her genitals were mocked, I didn't see any of the outspoken radfems that I follow call for any end to it. It was all very disgusting, and I wasn't sure why nobody would defend her. She's a wonderful ally and it was just very upsetting.
appropriately-inappropriate appropriately-inappropriate Said:

Yeah. Truthfully, I wasnt around at the time (yay school fml), but I’m not okay with that.

I saw some of the rhetoric afterwards and I wasn’t too impressed. It’s one thing to argue from a position of biology, and another entirely to use that biology to make personal attacks.

I’m not anyone’s mom, so I won’t chastise. What I will say is that I don’t engage in that behaviour myself, and certainly don’t approve of it. It’s hurtful, and harmful, and I’m not okay with that.